I’m thinking I might start using this tumblr for blogging along side image posting. I’ve been debating starting one for a while now and the toss has been between tumblr and wordpress. My reasoning for choosing to start this on my personal tumblr is because I really enjoy the community and the nook I’ve found myself in. Its rather inspirational and I feel like after a moment of scrolling through the dash that I find myself in a generally positive mental state. I think this will be a good decision.

Currently my life is undergoing a multitude of changes and I think both my physical and mental being are undergoing changes as well. I’m both intimidated and excited about all the different possibilities but I also can’t help but lose myself in negativity every so often. Maybe this will help? Even though this won’t be fun, I feel like I need to fill you in on what is going on currently in my life all in one lengthy post rather than filling you in later awkwardly in another.

Last night my girlfriend and I submitted our rental applications for an apartment in Marquette Michigan which is truly new ground for not only us together but individually as well. In the fall I will be attending Northern Michigan University which - if you didn’t figure out already - is in Marquette. I’m lucky enough to have a girlfriend who is more than willing to pick up and move with me to help with my expenses while offering support. In the mean time we both are going to end up broke by the end of the summer if we don’t find a place and move as soon as possible.

I had come in contact with someone via the notorious craigslist who was trying to find someone to rent the other side of a 3 bedroom duplex. We’ll be trying to find one other person to rent with us making the rent for us individually around $400 per month. Even though others will say that the amount isn’t much at all, for a struggling college student it definitely is. But this landlord actually was willing to go above and beyond to accommodate us from the Metro-Detroit area when most have just brushed us off not wanting to deal with us when there are so many up in Marquette that are interested.

Anyways, we submitted our info to him last night and by this weekend he told me he will be informing us of his decision. Stacy and myself are both nervous. If we get this place then we will be moving in a week eight hours away. It really is intimidating but I hope this works out because this change is needed.

I feel like I am stuck. I’ve been living in this house for 16 years with my parents. I’m 21 and have no actually real freedoms other than those I acquired as a teen. Embarrassing, I know… It actually takes a lot out of me to come out and say that and I am very ashamed. There is a world out there that I want to explore but I feel like I cannot leave without suffering some severe consequence. I know that you, if anyone, is reading this that they all assume the same thing and maybe think I’m over reacting or being overly cautious but you don’t understand the dynamics.

This feels like this is my final chance. If I don’t get out now I fear I’ll never know myself and that I will vanish in to some other person’s ideals and image of what they want me to be.

There is something out there…